5 tips for making decisions and help reduce anxiety

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the amount of choice there is? You’re not alone. We live in an age where there is seemingly infinite choice. And whilst, in theory, that means we can select an option that’s just right for us, it can easily lead to anxiety caused by indecision.

I’m in a similar situation right now. Next month Mr P and I are taking mum-in-law to London for a few days for her birthday. We’re really looking forward to it, but we’ve yet to decide how to get there and back. We could drive all the way, go by train, drive part of the way and then take a train, go by coach or even take a taxi door-to-door. Probably the most efficient and cost-effective way is to go by train, but what if there are train strikes? If we go by car, what happens if there’s an unexpected road closure and it takes forever to get there, or we enter a restricted area like the ULEZ or congestion zones – how do they work?

Now, we can either spend all of the time between now and then fretting about the journey, or we can take the anxiety out of the situation by deciding. And we can do this in one of two ways. We could:

• Make a decision now and stick to it (with a plan B if some event makes that choice unviable)
• Resolve now to make the final decision on a set date a few weeks before the date of travel

Either way, making a decision is almost guaranteed to take away any emotional discomfort caused by this unresolved conundrum.

So, how does the simple act of making a decision help to reduce anxiety? It’s all down to the fact that our brains do not like uncertainty. Uncertainty implies risk. Risk implies potential danger. And if we’re not in a robust headspace, our primitive fight-flight responses kick in and we end up feeling anxious.

So here are some tips for making decisions:

1. Remember that there are no ‘right decisions’. There are no guarantees in life. All any of us can do is make a choice based on the information to hand at the time. If things go awry because of some unforeseen circumstances, remember the circumstances were just that – unforeseen. It’s about having a healthy perspective on the balance of probabilities. If you’ve arranged an outdoor event for mid-July, the probability of the weather being kind is higher than if you arranged it in November. But none of us can guarantee the weather, so you wouldn’t blame yourself if it poured down at your July event.

2. Don’t be drawn in by promises of solutions to problems you never knew you had. What do I mean by that? Well, advertisers are experts at persuading us that we want to buy their product rather than a competitor’s. And they do that by pointing out features their product has that other suppliers’ offerings don’t. As a result, there seems to be a confusing choice of products. Think of toothpaste. If I’m on holiday in the middle of nowhere and I’ve forgotten my toothpaste, I’ll go to the local village shop. Chances are they only stock one brand of toothpaste. Fine, I’ll buy that. It will clean my teeth perfectly adequately. I don’t waste any time or mental energy deciding if I want the kind that whitens my teeth, or minimises nerve pain, or strengthens my gums, or removes plaque, or builds up tooth enamel, or keeps my breath fresh for 24 hours, or has fluoride, or is preferred by 80% of dentists, or has recyclable packing, or has organic ingredients. I have no choice, so I have no anxiety about whether it’s the best product. When you need to decide between multiple options, keep it simple. Does this solution address the issue? Yes? Great stuff, job done.

3. Stop second guessing. I’ve had many clients over the years whose anxiety is made worse by them continually questioning whether they’ve made the right decision. They exhaust themselves by replaying the pros and cons, fretting about possible alternatives. Even when there’s no going back. This type of thinking is really debilitating and, when you think about it, the decision they made wasn’t a decision at all. So do yourself a favour and, once you’ve made a decision, park it so you can free up your mind to get on and enjoy your life.

4. Listen to your gut. If you have a binary choice, like yes or no, listen to that inner bit of you that knows the answer that will serve you best. And if you’re concerned about tuning into that instinct, try this exercise. Take a coin and assign heads for yes, tails for no. Flip the coin and look at whether it’s heads or tails. Now, and this is crucial, how do you feel about the result? Do you feel disappointed, or do you feel exhilarated? That’s a big clue to which choice you should make.

5. Just decide. There’s a saying that goes, ‘The only bad decision is no decision’. Indecision keeps you stuck in a state of unknowing. It prevents you from moving forward, not just relating to the issue you’re wanting to resolve, but the discomfort caused by having a loose-end also permeates other areas of your life. So just decide, even if the decision is to postpone the final choice until a specific date in the future.

Whatever you do, you’ll find that once you make a final decision, you’ll feel so much better.