When the pupil is ready, the teacher will come

As this will be my final blog post prior to retirement, I wanted to pay tribute to all the amazing clients I’ve had the privilege of working with over the years.

They say that when the pupil is ready, the teacher will come. And it’s the same with therapy. People often think that hypnotherapy is something that is ‘done to them’ by the hypnotherapist. Not so!

Some years ago I was at a networking event when someone asked if I could help them become slimmer. I explained how we help clients find the motivation to lose weight. She replied jokingly, 'You mean I’ll have to put in some effort? Can't you magically stop me eating doughnuts?'

Solution Focused Hypnotherapy doesn't work like that. One of the things I discuss with clients who wish to lose weight is that, if they continue to eat what they’re currently eating, take the same level of exercise and make no changes to their lifestyle, then hypnotherapy is unlikely to help.

And it’s the same with any other issue, be it anxiety, low mood, sleeplessness, confidence, motivation, relationship issues, sports performance or any other aspect of your life.

In fact, therapy is a collaborative process, where the client is the expert in their own development. This is especially true of the Solution Focused approach, where we guide clients into achieving their own preferred future.

There have been many times when I’ve asked a client, ‘What small thing would you notice if you were a step closer to your goal?’, and I’ve been sure that their answer would be xyz. But the client comes up with a completely different answer that I wouldn’t have guessed in a million years. It’s all about what’s right for them.

So, therapy isn’t a passive process. The clients who make most progress are those who are fully engaged in making a positive difference in their lives. The ones who listen to the relaxation track daily, the ones who work hard at the beginning of each session identifying positive things that they’ve done or have happened to them, and the ones who are open to the possibility of having a different experience of life and are willing to work at imagining what that might look like.

I’ve been lucky to have seen huge transformations take place in a matter of weeks, thanks to the power of the Solution Focused approach and my clients’ willingness to commit to the process.

I will really miss the buzz I get from helping people improve their mental health and reach their goals, so it wasn’t an easy choice to decide to retire. But I’ve been doing this now for over 16 years, and I feel it’s time for new adventures. My final session will be later this month and then I’ll be hanging up my hypnotherapy hat. The good news is there are plenty of other therapists out there who will be able to provide help and support when you need it.

If you are seeking help and are considering hypnotherapy, remember that probably the most important aspect of successful therapy is the rapport between the therapist and the client.

It's the reason that most therapists conduct an initial consultation with new clients. It gives clients the opportunity to decide if they feel comfortable both with the therapist and with their therapeutic approach, be that Solution Focused, Psychoanalytical, Cognitive Behavioural or some other modality.

So, when you’re looking for a therapist of any discipline, it's good to find out as much as possible about them. Their website and social media posts are a great place to start.

It’s especially useful if there’s a photo of the therapist, because that helps you decide if they’re likely to be your kind of person. They may look like they’re easy to talk to.  Maybe they look fun, serious, business-like, young or more mature.  Think about whether you’re drawn to them as a person.

If someone is recommended by a friend, then the chances are they'll be a good match.

Being at ease, so you feel comfortable sharing any relevant information with your therapist, will really help your progress.

It’s also helpful to look at whether they belong to a professional association, because then you know that they’re suitably qualified and are committed to keeping their skills up to date. If you are looking for a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist, go to the Association for Solution Focused Hypnotherapy website and you can search for the nearest one to your postcode here: afsfh.com  Click on the Search by distance from your postcode button.

Whoever you approach, always remember that they can only help you if you are willing to help yourself. So be prepared for change.

And then, anything is possible!

Before I sign off for the final time, I want to share my all-time favourite hypnotherapy joke:

Question: How many hypnotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: It doesn't matter. What's important is that the light bulb really wants to change.

That sums it all up nicely!